Where did the Sun go?

Day One:
Alarm clock.  Awake now.  It's time to get up.  It's still dark outside, but i have to get out of bed.  There's a lot to do today.  Make sure I remember everything I have to do before I leave.  Eat breakfast, get ready, brush teeth, load up the car.  Did I forget anything?  I don't think so.  Ok.  Get in the car.

It's still so dark out.  Turn on the lights.  Pull out of the driveway.  Ok.  On my way.  When I get to school, don't forget to make those copies to send home and pick up that book from Mrs. What'shername and drop of that supply order to the principal and change the newsletter on the bulletin board and what else,  there was some thing else.  Argggh, there's so much to do!  Did I forget anything?  And it's still so dark outside.  

The drive seems so long in the dark, and void enough to let my thoughts take over all else.  It's not even 7:00 yet and muscles are tight.  Coffee is warm.  Soothing, but not for long enough.

But what's this...something's different.   The something has changed.  The sky is less black and more blue instead.  Maybe I can handle this day, what it may bring.  

The light rims 
of the clouds 
I now see 
give me hope.

A change again, now streams of pick and coral spread like cotton across the sky.  The shade of blue in the sky is ever slightly lighter now.

Don't miss the left turn.  Got it.  From here I can see the golden Source of light across the horizon.  The Light has revealed a beautiful field of greenery, growing in rows, surely to produce a plentiful crop.  At least the drive has nice scenery.  Feeling a bit lifted, like to day is going to be a good day.

WOW!  The Sun has risen above the horizon, I can see it clearly now.  A gorgeous sight.  Breathtaking.  What a view!  Glad that I still have a way to go until I get to school.  Let me take this Sunrise in as long as I can.  Drink it in.  God, today is going to be great!  Thank you for showing me your beautiful Sun so that I can have hope as I face my daily struggles!


Day Two:
Alarm clock.  Awake now.  It's time to get up.  It's still dark outside, but i have to get out of bed.  There's a lot to do today.  Make sure I remember everything I have to do before I leave.  Eat breakfast, get ready, brush teeth, load up the car.  Did I forget anything?  I don't think so.  Ok.  Get in the car.

Oh...but there will be the Sunrise...I can't wait.

(And there it was, and it was awesome!)


Day Three:
Alarm clock.  Awake now.  It's time to get up.  It's still dark outside, but i have to get out of bed.  There's a lot to do today.  But I can trust in the Sunrise.  Today is going to be great!  Ok!  Get in the car.


Day Thirteen:
Alarm clock.  Awake now.  It's time to get up.  It's still dark outside, but i have to get out of bed.  There's a lot to do today.  But I can trust in the Sunrise.  Today is going to be great!  Ok!  Get in the car.

But on that day, on that drive, my Sun did not lift above the horizon.  The skies stayed the color of charcoal the whole way.  Where has the Sun gone?  Will it ever come back?  I don't know if I can face this day without the Sun shining on me.  My strength is gone, my coffee is cold, there's so much to do.  Can I even make it through?  I trudge on.

The day drags on, heavy and burdened.  The clock turns and turns.  Kids get on the bus.  More to do.  Then back in the car.

Yet the grass looks brighter as I walk outside.  I lift my head to the sky and see that the Sun has broken through the dark clouds.  The Sun was not gone, only hidden by the clouds.  Oh, why did I worry so much over nothing.  He was there all along, though I did not see Him.  My Hope has returned!



Yes!  Even when we cannot see His face, God is with us.  Sometimes, we cover His face with our own dark clouds of worry and busy-ness.  Sometimes we do not see His face because we have turned our face away.  The Truth is, God is Emmanuel (God with us).  He is ALWAYS with you.

"Even when I did __________?"  you ask.  Yes then, especially then!  He kept you out of harm's way, or used that moment to begin a turn toward Him...to save you from further pain.

When your skies are dark and stormy, seek the Lord and you will find Him.  Even before you seek Him, He is seeking you because He loves you.

"He rescues you because He delights in you."  Psalm 18:19

"It is God who arms you with strength and keeps your way secure."  Psalm 18:32

“The Lord bless you and keep you;

 the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; 

the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”

-Numbers 6:24-26

There is no new thing under the sun.

After a lengthy break from blogging, I am attempting to return.  Life is so full of distractions!  I am so distract-able, oh... is that chocolate over there?  I seem to fall into this pattern of chasing the Lord with the determination of a marathon runner, then seeking fulfillment through the world...the world's people, places, things, and ideas.  Sometimes for  a week, sometimes only a few minutes, but still...

Too long away from my Lord, and I am filled with a feeling that is not pleasant and not easy to describe.    Just blah!  and Ugh!  and tired! and questioning...what is this all for anyway?

Reminds me of the book of Ecclesiastes...

“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
    says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
    Everything is meaningless.” (Ecc. 1:2)

Maybe it's because I am sometimes prone to feelings of depression.  Maybe it's because I actually need God all the time!  I cannot live off of bread and water alone, but I need the Word of God in my life.  

I need the presence of God in my life.  

I need the peace of God in my life!

Would you like the peace of the Lord's presence in your life?  What are you chasing of the world?  Is it of eternal value?  Read Ecclesiastes this week to find out the answer to this meaningless-ness.  

Lord, help me to keep my eyes on you!  Let me not forget your benefits.  You are Jehovah Shalom,  The Lord our peace.  Let me rest in your peace today and forever!  Amen.

Provider God fills our jars with oil

2 Kings 4: 1-7 Tells of a sweet story of a nameless woman who is in great fear of losing her two sons to her husband's creditor.  No, this is not a lesson about being a good steward of your money!  Although I am sure there is something there if you look for it.  No, this is a different story. 

This woman cries out to Elisha a prophet, known as a "man of God" for help.  

(Prophet: one who delivers divine messages or one who tells the future.)

He tells her, "Don't ask for just a few." They collect many empty jars from friends and neighbors and the lady begins pouring oil from one jar into the jars.  She fills them all completely until there are no jars left!

I can remember quite a few times in my life when God filled my jars beyond what I thought was possible.  Summers when financial numbers just didn't seem to add up, yet we had more than we needed by the end of it all.  Do I know where the extra money came from?  Can I explain who it happened?  No...just trusting God to provide.  And, wow, does He!

He is Jehovah Jireh: our Provider God!

(More about the greek names of God here: http://www.preceptaustin.org/jehovah_jireh_-_god_our_provider.htm)


What are your jars that need filling today?  Are you trusting fully in God's provision to fill those jars?  Are you underestimating His mighty power?  How many jars did you bring?  Go back to the storage shelves and get AS MANY jars as you can.  He will fill them overflowing.

"To him who is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine."

Somebody slap me!

So, as I come on here, I realize...it's been over a year since I posted here.  I am so terrible!  This year I guess has been pretty busy.  I have been on my grad school path to get certified to teach.  This semester I am co-teaching 2nd graders as part of my field experience.  Next semester is student teaching, then I graduate!  Yay!  
Enough about me, here's what God has been showing me this past year...life is about relationships!  This sounds like a simple statement that we all know already, but some how for me the true meaning of this is just coming to me finally.  I am realizing how little I know about healthy relationships, and seeing ways to work on my current relationships.  That's family, friends, coworkers, neighbors.  I think some of this comes naturally to some people, but not me.  Left to my own devises, I would never leave home, and I would not say a word to just about anyone I encounter.  I am such an introvert, that my behavior to social functions naturally includes hanging out in the corner, watching everyone and listening to other people's conversations.  
I am getting better.  I am slow to warm up, but I am becoming more courageous to talk to people and interact with others.  The biggest hurdle for me is overcoming all the negative self-talk.  This has been a huge task my whole life.  I thought I conquered this before, but I guess not.  I hear the whispers in my head say, "They have plenty of friends.  Don't call; it will be a bother.  They don't want to hear what I have to say.  They don't care."  I know this is not true; nevertheless, I hear it.
This summer, the more relaxed schedule allowed me to meet with some wonderful ladies at my church one on one.  I do much better this way than a crowded room.  I got over some fears and shared some of myself and listened to their life as they shared with me.  As I continue in this practice, I am learning that we can be there for each other for real and in earnest, and I am not alone in the things I feel and go through each day.
Now I am attending a new (new for me) small group.  In a room of a handful of other Christian women, I am getting more practice sharing myself and building each other up in the Lord.  It is such a fulfilling feeling to go through the Word together, learn from each other, and pray for each other.  Such a great community we are building.
Going forward, I know I can only get better at this.  And I will try to post more often.  I am almost done reading through my Bible.  (Hopefully the first of many times.)  I started Philipians today!  I am loving Paul's letters to the churches.  I am seeing a lot about Faith over Fear.  (More to come later).
In closing:
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  John 13:34-35

Guatemala Day Two- Sunday- Continued

In my last blog, I described the beginning of the day, and I regret that I could not finish the story in one post. But nevertheless, here is the rest of it. So, now we are coming through a field of corn, and a small Mayan woman has saved us from the dogs. We thought we were lost, but found our way once again, to find the place at the mountain where locals come to burn offerings to their mayan god. The woman, who we learned to know as Michaela (Mik-eye-ela), pointed us into the right direction. She quickly ran to her house again andback to catch up with us as we walked to the point. She carried a basket of small trinkets all of dark color, dark green and black Jade. It seems as though she may be trying to sell them to us. "No Gracias," we tell her, as we have been used to saying those words all day through the market as everyone tries to sell you everything. When we got tothe top, we all just stood and looked for a moment, silent, at the spot-black, charred, dark, and burnt everywhere. There were candles, flowers, fruit, cigars-all burning on stones with crosses too. All black. But God was with us, so we had no fear.

We learned from Bill and from Michaela how the locals use this spot to burn chicken, turkey, and other animals here for "cleansing." They hope for some sort of blessings in return. This news made me sad. As I had been reading in Deuteronomy and Leviticus of the Old Testament and this all reminded me of the many many different types of offerings that the Israelites were commanded to give. They were required to give peace offerings, sin offerings, guilt offerings, and list goes on. Offerings of animals, grain, and wine. It all seems so needless. So many offerings, so much time, effort put into something that is really no benefit. Since Jesus Christ made the ultimate offering, the Israelites were no longer required to make of those old offerings commanded to them long ago. God does not want our incense and our b

urnt offerings. Only our open heart! How wonderful!

But this thought is so foreign for the Guatemalan culture. Upon further inquiring, we found out that this biggest rounded top rock is to believed to be the mayan god that the locals give their offerings to. It is said to resemble the face of their god, but I don't see a face at all. Perhaps it's all been burnt away. And what should stand right next to it?

Only a small cross with a figure of a person carved into it. Michaela told us that it is indeed "Jesu Christo" that was positioned on that cross. Bill began a conversation w

ith Michaela asking about the mayan god and Jesus. It is discovered that she believes in both the mayan god and God of the bible. But she believes that her mayan god is stronger ("mas fuerte") that Jesus, and this is why the Jesus on the altar is so much smaller than the mayan god rock.

In our conversation with Michaela, her mother joins us-Manuela. Ask we asked Michaela about the rest of her family, she told us of her father, Jose. Jose was in her house, sick. He has been sick for 11 years. She said it with a casualness in her voice. It was as if-it's so hard to find the words-maybe she was so used to him being sick, and never expected him to get better. It was just a state of fact, without any sign of emotion. But it is common for the Guatemalans to hide any signs of emotion for the most part. I, on the other hand, was not without em

otion. I was filled with a broken, crying heart and the words came to me "Pray for him." As I searched for the spanish words that I might use to ask her if we could pray for Jose, Bill began to ask her if it was ok for us to pray for him.

She said OK! And Oh, the excitement that filled my heart at that moment is indescribable! How awesome, that we get to pray for this man! That we get to bring the Holy Spirit into their house, be blessed and be a blessing. I walked with Michaela while Bill gathered the group and told them of what we were about to do. I shared with Michaela that I know t

hat God is bigger and stronger than anything, and that he can do anything. I told that He is great and full of love for us. I trust that through even my broken spanish, the Holy Spirit could give her an understanding of the Lord that was greater than she had ever known before.

As we came into Jose's room, which smelled of a bathroom, he began to sit up in his bed, with obvious discomfort. We told him that wasn't necessary, but he sat up anyway. He reached out his hand to touch our hands, each one of us. His hands were trimmed with long fingernails which curled on the ends. I imagine they were 11 years long.

After Jose shook everyone's hand, we began to pray for Jose with our hands laid on his body. There was no translation necessary. He couldn't hear very well, and probably knew mostly Quiche, which none of us could speak. As the prayer began, Jose began humming

aloud, and I could feel the Holy Spirit in the room with us. It was as though we were all floating there in the room. I was filled with "Amazing Grace" in my heart, so I let it out and began humming with Jose. As the men prayed aloud, I could hear Jose begin to say "Preparo, Preparo, El Senor, El Senor." (I'm ready, Father God) Jose was ready to receive God's gift for him. And I could physically feel Jose's body change as we prayed there for him. His hard stiff body slowly began to relax and soften beneath my hand. God was doing His work in Jose.

When we finished praying, we said our good byes, and thanked Jose and h

is family for allowing us into their home to pray for him. Michaela followed us back to the altar sight and showed us the way down the mountain toward the town of Chichi. We would not be going back the way we came, as it would be twice as far to get to Manos de Jesus. The skies were beginning to get dark with rain clouds, and thunder began while we were still in the house praying. But before we left the mountain top, we prayed as a team once more. We prayed for protection over Jose and his family and that God would take possession of this mountain top. While the thunder rolled once again, I had a vision of Jose showing God's glory through his healing to all who would pass his home on the way to the mountain top. He would tell them all that our God of the bible, the One True Living God, is stronger than these false gods. El Senor was his healer, and it came through grace, not burnt offerings!

As our prayer ended, the rain began. Our way was unknown, but we followed the path before us and kept moving toward the direction of the town. We did get very wet, but we also got home safely! I still pray for Jose and his family. There is no doubt that their life has been deeply moved and changed for their benefit since the Holy Spirit came to visit in a big way that day. They are not the only ones, I too was moved by the events of that day, as were the rest of my team. And now, I pray, that Jose's story has moved you too. God is big, and strong, and great, and full of love.

Now to Him who can do more than we could ever ask or imagine, to Him be all glory and honor forever and ever, Amen!

Day Two Guatemala 2011 - Sunday

As soon as the plane landed in Guatemala city, I felt alive! More alive than I ever do on a regular basis each day. And oh, how I long for that feeling here at home... All the people moving about, the colors, it is all so beautiful!

These were my first thoughts arriving into Guatemala. Day one (Saturday) of our trip was basically all travel time, so there's not much to share on it. It was mostly about gathering my bearings, getting to know my team mates - especially Jessi and Chris. (More on internal team happenings in a later blog.)

Day two, however, was very much more eventful. Atleast, for me it was. We started out the day like an average sunday and went to church. Well, I guess it's only average if you get to go to church in Guatemala every sunday. It was great to worship with other missionaries who were all stationed there. The service was not too different from the ones I am used to at Eternal. Children were playing in the lobby while the adults had some coffee, we sang some worship songs that I've never heard before, and we listened to an inspiring message.

Later, after lunch we walked through the market. Chichicastenango is home to the largest open-air market in the western hemisphere! (More on the market later, too.)

Monte Flor was our next stop. This is a beautiful property that Pray America is building various arms of their ministry onto. There is a shoe factory, a prayer chapel, and a new girls' home completely finished. There are plans for another orphan house, and other buildings on the property. You can find out more about Monte Flor at www.prayamerica.org. After touring Monte Flor, Bill (from our wonderful host family The Gardners) offered to take those interested on a hike up the mountain. Apparently, there is a site used for burnt sacrifice by the locals to their "gods." My blood was already pumping pretty good, as I had already tried out a few of the steep hills and jogged most of the way to Monte Flor, so I was excited for another chance to get my body moving and curious to see parts that I had not already seen. "OK," I said, "Let's go!" Only God knew where this path would take me!

Seven of us hiked up past the prayer chapel to the back line of the property and across the ridge toward the spot. Bill confidently led us along the path until a point where the ridge intersected an adobe house. We followed the path which traveled down the mountain, eventhough we knew up is where we needed to go. This is the point in our trek that I start to wonder if Bill knows where he's taking us. I am sure he's been up here before, perhaps we just forgot one of the turns. That's when Bill speaks up, "I'm sorry guys. I don't know where we're going, let's go back."

As we all made a 180 to go back up the hill the way we came, here comes two young Guatemalan men walking past us. Bill, in his best spanish, asks them for directions; and off we go, into uncharted territory, hiking up the mountain, a different way, without a trail. Finally, out of the jungle-like terrain, we walk into a patch of corn - a sign of civilization. Barking dogs is the very next sound we hear. Now I can sense danger around us, and all my senses are on fire taking in every little thing around me. To our rescue comes a little Guatemalan lady named Michaela as we later come to learn. The dogs scatter with a small sounding "Ssk, ssk!" from her mouth. She tells us we are close and points us to the top of the hill where the site is.

It is amazing how we even made it to his point. It is only at this point that I discover that Bill has never hiked up here before, and never met this woman before. Looking back, I see how it was all by God that we found it. So, that's how we got there; look for the next post on what happened when we got there.

You reap what you sow! (Proverbs series)

While reading through proverbs, I can across several verses that spoke to me in many different themes. Here is a repeating theme that stuck out to me. I just love reading the books of Solomon! His wisdom is straight from God, and the wisest words on earth.

Proverbs 11:17

"Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel."

I find this verse very interesting. It would seem that while a person may be acting cruel, their intention is to harm another, but in fact the harm is truly unto themselves. It is not others who are destroyed when you are cruel, only yourself. And similarly, when someone is being kind to another, while his intentions are to benefit someone else (valid intentions, by the way), he also benefits himself. He nourishes himself. When you are kind, it is not guaranteed that others are nourished-maybe so, maybe not-but for you, YES!

You get what you give; reap what you sow!

Proverbs 11:25

"Yes, the liberal man shall be rich. By watering others, he waters himself."

Here are some more words of wisdom that defy logic. How in this world of physics can some one possibly become rich by giving his things, his wealth away? Wouldn't he become poor? If you have ten dollars in your pocket, and you give one dollar away to every person you meet on the street, wouldn't you run out of money????? And quickly too? While logic says, "The more you give, the more you lose," GOD IS BIGGER!! You get what you give!

Something else to notice here...these words do not speak to the growth of the person getting watered. You can lead a horse to water, you can water a plant, but only God makes it grow. But you have guaranteed a watering for yourself.

Proverbs 19:17

"When you help the poor you are lending to the Lord-and he pays wonderful interest on you loan!"

This is the reason why the one who waters gets watered himself! It is counter-intuitive, against the grain, against our flesh. It is not a natural feeling; the flesh will not like it. What goes around comes around.

Proverbs 10: 22

"The Lord's blessing is our greatest wealth. All our work adds nothing to it."

While faith without works is dead, and we are called to be the hands and feet of God-doing his good works- our greatest wealth is not our works. His blessing is the only thing worthy to receive in this life. We cannot do anything on our own. All of our efforts are worthless, meaningless, nothing. It is only through Him, His power, His grace, His love that we can receive His blessings. And after receiving His blessing, there is nothing we can do to compare to that!

He is mighty! He is awesome! Trust in Him, He will never fail you!

Proverbs 10:24

"The wicked man's fears will all come true, and so will the good man's hopes."

Put your Hope in God, and it will come true!

(More on this verse later in another Proverbs series.)

To Him be the glory forever.

Amen.

Home from Guatemala!!!

We are back from Guatemala and getting back into our daily routine with work and home and school. The trip was so exciting and filled with "God sightings" everyday.

We helped build 4 houses for widows and their children. And what an awesome experience it was to be able to get to know each of these families-especially the kids! The children in this area have little to nothing according to American standards. However, despite their lack of things-toys, video games, netflix, etc- they are so filled with joy!It feels as though I left a little piece of my heart with each child that I met, and they have left a permanent impression on me. I can only hope that I left the same kind of impression on their heart as well. My prayer is that God will use those little moments to start a seed growing in their heart that will one day blossom into a mighty oak tree!

I posted some of the pictures up so you can see them. I tried to narrow it down, but it is still alot! I wish I could post one or a few of the "best" pictures here for you to see, but I couldn't choose just a few. There was really too much that happened to sum it up in a couple photos.

Probably too much for just one blog post! So I will add more this week and next as the time allows.

Anyway, I want to personally thank everyone who made this trip possible! You know who you are! With out your support-prayer and financial-this would not have been possible. Pray America is an awesome organization that we as a church have partnered with since 2007. And thanks to Pray America's permanent presence in Chichicastenango, so many lives have been touched and moved by the love of God. On our trip to Guatemala, Pray America's 600th house was built!!! So, now, over 600 families have been affected by the love of God, and you and I have been blessed to be a part of that. I just think that is awesome!

Thank you, thank you for your prayers. And keep praying! Pray for the continual growth of Pray America's ministry in Guatemala and Eternal Church, for the hearts of those in Guatemala who are just learning about Jesus Christ's love for them, and pray for missionaries around the world as well!

God Bless and Be Well!